?

Log in

FTO_osakadreams [userpic]

[FIC] PIN; Sometimes

January 28th, 2007 (08:20 pm)
bored

current mood: bored
current song: Final Distance by Utada Hikaru

Sometimes
Author: dreams_my_wings / fto_osakadreams
Genre: Pin angst should be illegal because Pin is stupid and cracky and smutty. Not angsty.
Pairing: PIN [Akanishi Jin/Yamashita Tomohisa]
Disclaimer: If I owned them Jin would be in San Diego. Not L.A.
Summary: Yamapi has selective memory. 

He sometimes forgets Jin ever existed.

 

He forgets the lazy days spent at the beach, back when they were still juniors, before they became anything other than best friends. He forgets the cool water lapping at their ankles, the sand seeping into every crack and crevice, the way Jin used to shriek and jump on his back when something in the water touched him. He forgets the way Jin used to look with his silly blonde hair and even sillier smile. He forgets the goofy grins and winks he throws at fans; admirers; cameras; anyone who would look at him. He forgets the way Jin’s eyes used to shine every time he learned a new English word or Pi called him Bakanishi. He forgets the way Jin closes his eyes in concentration to reach that one note; the way he practices for hours to get that one dance move perfect; the way he tries and tries and tries and finally succeeds, making it all look so easy and simple and unpracticed. He forgets the way Jin bounces around, invades his personal space, holds his hand, refusing to let go. Pi forgets it all, all the childhood memories he has of Jin.

 

            He sometimes forgets Jin ever existed.

 

He forgets the way Jin grew; the way he changed; the way he matured. He forgets how Jin still winked, and smirked, and strutted for the cameras and the fans, how he became their sexy boy, and yet, backstage he stopped, stopped trying to make everyone look at him. He forgets the way Jin’s smiles dimmed over the years and the sounds of his increasingly forced laughter. He forgets how Jin’s eyes weren’t quite so bright as they used to be and how much that hurt, even though he never really understood why. He forgets watching Jin, watching and watching Jin during those years, watching and wondering. He forgets the jealously he felt when Jin filmed Gokusen. He forgets the jealousy Jin felt when Pi filmed Nobuta. He forgets watching as Jin and Kame’s friendship crumbled and the way theirs almost did too.  He forgets that look Ryo gave him as he held a crying Jin, and how he couldn’t help but think he should be there, not Ryo. Pi forgets it all, all the bitter memories he has of Jin.

 

            He sometimes forgets Jin ever existed.

 

He forgets the way he said he was sorry. He forgets the awkward and shocking, though surprisingly enough not unwanted, kisses. He forgets Jin’s fumbling hands and the way their noses would collide. He forgets the feeling of being young and new and inexperienced and sixteen with Jin again. He forgets how eventually they found their rhythm- how overtime everything became a bit more practiced, a little less messy, but never repetitive or boring. He forgets Jin living with him and loving every single moment of it; loving waking up to Jin’s face, to Jin’s warm arms around his waist. He forgets the soft smiles Jin gives him when he whispers Bakanishi into his hair, or the light, teasing, childish kisses on his noses because Jin simply felt like it. He forgets the way Jin’s hands still find his after all these years and the way their fingers twine gently. He forgets how Jin used to look at him- he used to look at him like he was the only thing in the world that mattered. He forgets that back then he was the only thing that really mattered to Jin. Pi forgets it all, all the lover’s memories he has of Jin.

 

            He sometimes forgets Jin ever existed.

 

He forgets the pain of realizing he wasn’t enough. He forgets the weary and unsmiling Jin that would come home to him. He forgets watching Jin with sad eyes during 24 Terebi and how badly he wanted to reach out and just make him smile again and how he just couldn’t do it. He forgets his fear, his fear of losing Jin and all his selfishness and stupidity. He forgets how he ran away, took that drama because he was too afraid of Jin; of what Jin had become. He forgets how he wasn’t there when Jin needed him most, wasn’t there because he was too wrapped up in his own worries and insecurities to notice that Jin needed him, needed him now more than ever. He forgets the determined Akanishi on his doorstep, a man he didn’t really know any more but never once stopped loving. He forgets the way they said goodbye and the image of Akanishi walking away from him and not looking back. Pi forgets it all, all the last memories he has of Jin.

 

            He sometimes forgets Jin ever existed.

           

But that’s only when he actually remembers too.

 

O-W-A-R-I


Comments

Posted by: e v e r y t h i n g u d o n o t k n o w (aayachi)
Posted at: January 29th, 2007 05:12 am (UTC)
Yamapi rain

=.=

so sad~

for some reason, i had the image of a dead jin ftw O.o

Posted by: FTO_osakadreams (fto_osakadreams)
Posted at: January 29th, 2007 05:16 am (UTC)
Jin

What? Jin dead?!? *stabbed in the heart*

...Okay. Not really. I'm actually laughing. I fail at being a good fan!

Anyways. Thanks for reading~

Posted by: Victoria (saturnianlove)
Posted at: January 29th, 2007 05:18 am (UTC)
Pin

awww. This was pretty.

ps: what area of San Diego? I am curious to know how close you live to me~

Posted by: FTO_osakadreams (fto_osakadreams)
Posted at: January 29th, 2007 05:28 am (UTC)
Yamapi

Thanks~

*hopes your not a stalker*

I live in University City- basically between Clairmont and La Jolla if you've heard of it...? Where are you?

Posted by: Victoria (saturnianlove)
Posted at: January 29th, 2007 05:30 am (UTC)

Rancho Penasquitos - next to Poway, between Clairemont & Escondido

is not a stalker, kthnks

Posted by: Kay (chiseen)
Posted at: January 29th, 2007 05:39 am (UTC)
jin

This is so sad! Made me want to cry!
And yes. angsty Pin SHOULD be illegal! IT SHOULD! Pin's all about stupidity, crack, love, fluff, smut and PIN-RABU!

How about you guys write a sequel to this when Pi REMEMBERS what he's tried to forget and goes find Jin? *wink.nudge*
and then everyone will be happy =]

Posted by: anamuan (anamuan)
Posted at: January 29th, 2007 06:00 am (UTC)

aww. this is so cute. ♥

Posted by: Gangsta, of course. (dn_soir)
Posted at: January 29th, 2007 07:06 am (UTC)
JaeJoong

uMM...hold on...lemme gain my composure.
Wow, so, first of all, this is so eloquent. Really, beautiful, just excellent. Actually, I can't really say
anything without it sounding incredibly corny. Do you mind?
I'm seriously contemplating just crying, except I don't
think I could stop. Arrrrrrrr...The whole idea is just
perfect, so fitting, and it's so sad and I pray to
god it's not true, OMG, no offense. But, whoa, I love it!

(Deleted comment)
Posted by: snow_meow (snow_meow)
Posted at: January 29th, 2007 09:37 am (UTC)

This is so sad and painful.

Pin should never be this sad and painful.
I request a happy ending. Make Jin remind Pi of all the joys and happiness that they shared.

Posted by: Angie (jt_fangirlism)
Posted at: January 29th, 2007 12:41 pm (UTC)

WOW!!!
i love it!!!
it actually got me a little teary eyed...
hope pi never ever forgets him... ever... <3

Posted by: (=^エ^=) ~Cami~ (=^エ^=) (redturtlereveri)
Posted at: February 10th, 2007 10:17 am (UTC)
Irresistable - Cami

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
i loved it but..
*EMOEMOEMOEMO*

*SOB* *WAIL*
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

*sniff*

Yet I still keep hoping there'll be more...?

Posted by: wnndy (wnndy)
Posted at: February 13th, 2007 02:05 pm (UTC)

gooh..what is THISS.. it's so sad..=(

is it true? it sounds so real.. =( when i read this i get so sad... and some things i recognize watching shows with jin in it.. that he doesn't smile that often anymore and i barely see them together anymore (well..now jin is in LA oke..but before he went to LA..) because i totally loved them when i watched summarybackstage..they were so cute and they were having so much fun... i REALLY REALLY hope they are still good friends and always will be because they are the bestt
i'm new to j-entertainment(since a month) and i just got to know jin and pi and i already am totally in love with them..butt this sounds so sadddddd

"He forgets watching as Jin and Kame’s friendship crumbled and the way theirs almost did too. He forgets that look Ryo gave him as he held a crying Jin, and how he couldn’t help but think he should be there, not Ryo."

uhm.. is this true? is jin and kame's friendship not good anymore? i thought it were rumours.. andd when was jin crying? or is this made up *i hope soo*

13 Read Comments